Some teachers are more successful in using proven learning strategies for students with ADHD. Unfortunately, Maddy's teacher this year isn't one of them or if she is using them (which I haven't seen evidence of) then they aren't working for Maddy. Maddy struggles in the afternoon to stay focused which makes complete sense because by then her medication has worn off. Maddy is not a child who complains and she is not a discipline issue at all which is why I think her teacher isn't sure how to relate to her. Her teacher isn't sure what to do with her and poor Maddy - all she wants to do is to please her teacher. In order to make Maddy feel more in control and successful, we talked to her pediatrician about trying extended release ritalin.
It has been a week and we have had two major meltdowns as she has had a ritalin rebound (coming off the medication) and one night where she was filled with so much agitation that her blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals ended up on the floor and I thought for sure her mattress would, too. It is heartbreaking to see your child go through this knowing this is not who they are and how they behave. And then to argue with yourself if you are making the right decision with medication, medicating at all let alone the dose. Then I curse this damn illness and everything about it and then tell myself we could have a child battling something much worse. The conversation in my head always continues with what a remarkable child we have and it is our job to teach her coping skills and to help her identify that it is ADHD and the medicine so that she knows what to do. I always think about our journey to this point and how she has touched our lives and so many others and I end my conversation with myself with tomorrow is a new day.
The most recent meltdown pushed me to my limits - I didn't know whether to laugh or cry and I didn't know whether to scold her for being disrespectful or hold her and tell her it was going to be ok. It seemed like an eternity until she calmed down enough for her to even hear me. I have been reading a book called Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman and I used some of his Emotion Coaching techniques. After 20 minutes or so, she was good. She had worked through it. I left it alone until she went to bed and at that time just talked to her about it a little bit more. She was in a different frame of mind to look back at what had happened. I also wanted her to know that the reaction she had was not her, it was the medicine. She needed to know that, to recognize that.
The next day was a great day!
OMG I remember those days. When we changed Seans meds a couple years ago they had me keep him home for the week while he adjusted and man was it a week. I knew it wasnt him, he even knew it wasnt him. I remember him crying himself to sleep one night just saying over and over how out of control he felt, how much he was hurting inside and didnt know why. He would talk about his brain hurting so much he couldnt take it. He was SO out of control one day that we had to strap him down and lock him in the car with us standing close by because he had knocked all the pictures off the wall throwing things and had nearly pushed every one of us down the stairs at one point. Me and my husband had bruises from waist down from being kicked so many times while trying to get closer to him. My couch had been turned over upside down and coffee table moved against the wall. It took what seemed like forever for him to get a grip. You feel SO helpless in that moment, and I remember calling the doctor while I had him restrained and crying myself saying I didnt know what to do and that I didnt think this was a good choice. I remember asking if he needed to be hospitalized to prevent him from hurting himself or someone else. And all the doctor could say was "give it a couple days, its just his bodies adjustment, he will be fine. You can handle it, its all going to be ok" I remember hating those words. I feel your pain and I know there are a million more mothers out there that do to. You ARE doing whats right for her, you always have. I know this post was a couple weeks ago and she is probably Golden now. Love ya guys, Miss ya, Hang in there.
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