There's a new kid in town

http://askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/8-ways-help-shy-child


Maddy has been in the limelight for a while now but Peyton has been emerging from her shadows.  Up until recently, I struggled with trying to figure out what 'wrong' with Peyton.  He was very shy around adults, clung to me, was quiet, wasn't ready for school, and a bit of a homebody.  I began to have an internal moral dilemma asking "where did I go wrong?" and "what am I doing wrong?".  Of course I turned to the internet to begin my search and I first began searching for information on shy children.  I found this article that allowed me to view the situation, and Peyton, in a new and healthier light:

http://askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/8-ways-help-shy-child

I recognized the 'inner peace' in Peyton and began thinking of him in terms of being a deep thinker and being cautious. We had moved three time in his 5 years, no wonder.  He wasn't wanting to invest in relationships because we just might move again.  I also realized that him being 'shy' is not a bad thing.  I like to think of it as reserved.  Maddy has done so much of the talking and activity in our lives for so long and Peyton doesn't seem to want to compete with that.

I began to heed some of the advice in the article and began to notice little changes in Peyton and less frustration in myself.  I finally enrolled him in preschool.  I always knew I did not want him to have 2 years of preschool (because he is a December birthday).  We hadn't enrolled him in any preschool because of moving, finding the right school, and fitting the tuition into our budget.  We visited St. Matthew's Lutheran Day School, which had openings in their afternoon program, and I immediately knew this was the best match for him.  He has been going there for three weeks now and he is a different child.  I don't allow myself to say "I wish we would have done this sooner" because I don't think it would have been the same.  The timing wasn't right, until now.  He knew the academics of preschool (I was a teacher), it was the social aspect and also learning to build a relationship with another adult so that he could see there are other adults in the world who want him to succeed and who can show him compassion.  He has begun to open his circle of trust.  The trick now is not to push him, but to keep him on a path for continued school and life success.

My children have taught me so much in their 7 and 5 years on this earth and I still have a lot to learn, about them and about myself.  What a gift they are!