Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Top 10 Myths About ADHD - Parenting on Shine

Top 10 Myths About ADHD - Parenting on Shine

Another good article with some great points on ADHD. Never hurts to have reminders about ADHD and that it is real.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

A New York Reunion











Over the July 4th Holiday, we were able to have a reunion of sorts at my parents house in Westfield, NY with my brother Scott and his family from Arizona. It had been over a year since we had seen them. We actually had spent our last night in Arizona at their house before we moved to Virginia. While we were together, the grandkids had a lemonade stand, played, swam, picniced, and just spent great time together.




My dad was happy because I unloaded a good 4 large boxes from their attic of my Barbie toys that I had when I was a kid. They are now Maddy's. I have to admit, I did cry when she started playing with them. Just thinking about how much fun I had with them and now she would get to play with them, too.




New Discoveries and New Beginnings

I have come to realize in the last two weeks that when we left Arizona and I left my career that what I went through was truly a loss and what I have experienced in the last 14 months has been a process similar to the grieving process or at least that is what it should have been. So now that I have come to that realization, I need to reflect on the last 14 months and the emotions that I have experienced in order to reconcile, cope, and move on.

I began graduate studies in psychology last October and this has also helped me make these connections and provided me with a wealth of knowledge and resources to pull from in order to go through this "process". I am anxious to get started and a little scared to make these self discoveries, but I am also excited and hope to come up with some interesting and useful processes that will be helpful to other moms who may go through a similar experience or for others that I may encounter in my work as an Organizational Consultant.

My goal is to use this blog as a forum to answer and reflect on some of the information and ressearch that I have discovered so that I can truly move on from the loss that I experienced. I am intrigued by the work of Daniel Goleman and his Emotional Intelligence so that is one of the first places I will begin along with a website I discovered called Emotional Competency. I have never been one for spiritual journeys, touchy-feely emotional work, but I believe that I have come to a point in my life where there needs to be just a little bit of give and take in this area in order to bring my personal growth and self-awareness to a new level.

The Effects of Moving on Kids

This is an article that I wish I had read before moving to Arizona or to Maryland and an article I wish I had to share with family, friends, and others we encountered who seemed to question how Maddy and Peyton were behaving or at least how I was being overly sensitive during the entire time period. I know there is a lot that we felt Maddy and Peyton would not "get" or "understand" about moving so we didn't address it at all or in the right context. I know there are times when we underestimated just how much their little brains and hearts were processing about the whole thing. It really hit home when after we told Maddy we were moving to Maryland she asked "Where will we move to after that?". Of course at the time, we didn't think there would be a move anywhere for a while. Little did we know it would be sooner than we thought . . . (see www.azleonards.blogspot.com).

Effect of Moving on Young Children
How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six

Read more at Suite101: Effect of Moving on Young Children: How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six Suite101.com http://www.suite101.com/content/effect-of-moving-on-young-children-a179760#ixzz1VcbLIi1u

Lisl Fair (December 14, 2009)

Moving can have an adverse effect on children, but not all children experience moving as a negative event. Parents can help children cope by using certain strategies.
One out of every five families moves at least once a year. Most moves take place within the same city, but in recent years the number of moves between cities, states and countries have increased.

In an interview with Suite101, Anna-Barbara du Plessis, an educational psychologist in Centurion, South Africa, says that because children often find their security in familiar surroundings moving, can be an especially difficult time for them.

Temporary Behavioral Problems are Common During Moving

Parents are also usually more stressed during a move, and children may reflect these negative emotions in their behavior. Du Plessis says that it is quite common for children to have some behavioral problems (like temper tantrums or excessive clinginess) or regress to a previous developmental stage (for example a child who has been potty trained getting frequent accidents). Children need time to adjust to the new environment before these problems will normalize again.

A Move is Not Always Negative for Children
Moving to a new environment does not always have negative effects on a child’s development, however. Some children experience it as a wonderful adventure that the family undergoes together. Moving can also provide new opportunities for stimulation, learning to adjust and socialization.

Children Show Unique Reactions to Moving
Du Plessis says that reactions from children will vary depending on their personality and developmental stage. A child’s personality type influences the time a child may take to adjust to the move. Children who are naturally outgoing will be able to make friends soon while some other children may take months. Children who move may also have roller coaster emotions – one day she may be excited, and sad and quiet the next day.

Coping Strategies for Young Children During Moving
Apart from providing support relative to the child’s age group, try the following:

•Explain what is happening. Don’t take for granted that the child understands what moving means.
•Be understanding. Acknowledge both positive and negative feelings and help the child to express it.
•Provide continuity. Try to keep routines and other daily living habits as normal as possible.
•Be a good model. It will help children to see the adults in their lives express feelings and work through problems. Saying something like: “I miss my friends today, let’s go to the library and see if we can meet new friends,” may help a child understand her own feelings.
•Use children's books and movies. Story characters who model successful coping strategies can help a child to cope better in her own situation.

Most families move at least once during their life time. Moving can have an adverse effect on young children. Behavioral problems and emotional outburst are not uncommon reactions in young children when families move. Parents can make it easier for children, by communicating about what is happening and providing an anchor-relationship in an uncertain time.

Glad I Didn't Change a Thing





I suppose there has been a reason I have been on hiatus these last few months in writing anything on either of my blogs. Here is the short version (if there is such a thing):

Matt left his job in Virginia (the one we came out here in the first place for) and got a position with a company in Maryland. We found a townhome in Joppa, MD and moved there after July 4th. We absolutely LOVE Maryland and the people and all that there is to do. It is a different vibe than Virginia. We also moved into a townhome community and were immediately welcomed with open arms and the kids had about 10 instant friends.



In the meantime, Matt had been interviewing with a company that is one of the toughest in the country to interview for. Over the course of two months he had two phone interviews and two on site interviews, 1 in California and 1 in Virginia. Of course he was offered a position and it is in Virginia. He began last week but we are living in Maryland - big problem. Right now he is commuting/telecommuting/living in company housing until we can get out of our lease and find a place in Virgina and move back. I guess one of the good things in all of this is that the moves have been paid for, but it still does not alleviate the stress of actually looking for a new place and moving.



So, we did not go from the Arizona Leonard's to the Virginia Leonard's to the Maryland Leonard's. Looks like we will stay the Virginia Leonard's (just a different part of Virginia).

Friday, June 17, 2011

Her Last Day

First Day of Preschool

First Day of Kindergarten Kindergarten Spring Pictures


First of all - I apologize for the length of time in between posts. I was trying to be good about it, but updated posts just didn't happen. So two months go by and all of a sudden today is Maddy's last day of kindergarten. Where did the time go? Not only the last year, but the last 6? I look back with a little sadness, remembering the time when I could just hold her and rock her to sleep and we just got lost in each others gaze. But then I think about the tremendous growth she has made this year and my heart fills with excitement and great anticipation for the day when she is ready to take on the world - on her own. Until that day comes, I will cherish each moment.



Congratulations Maddy!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Information at your fingertips

When Maddy had her first speech evaluation, I found myself searching through baby books, medical files, and even pictures trying to remember when she met her milestones so I could answer all of the questions on the mounds of paperwork I had to complete. Then when she had an evaluation with Gilbert Public Schools, it was the same thing but at least I had the majority of the information on the speech evaluation paperwork. It was at that time I decided I needed to have a binder for her that had all of these evaluations along with sections for her IEP (individualized education plan), school information, health information, emergency contacts, Matt's work address (I never remember that), and anything else I could think of. I knew putting in a little up front time would save me so much in the end and that it would be a valuable tool to take to all IEP meetings, doctor appointments, parent teacher conferences, and anything Maddy. Naturally, I did one for Peyton, too although his doesn't have quite the amount of information, but it is all relevant. I also carry their immunization cards in these binders but not their social security information or birth certificate. I would highly recommend creating one for each child or something similar. It is a great tool to have and it is nice to have everything in one place.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Moist Chocolate Cake Recipe | Taste of Home Recipes

These recipes are ones that I tried out on Nana and Papa while they were here. They were all a hit! Moist Chocolate Cake Recipe Taste of Home Recipes

Roast Pork with Apples & Onions Recipe | Taste of Home Recipes

Roast Pork with Apples & Onions Recipe Taste of Home Recipes

Lemon Cheese Braid Bread Recipe | Taste of Home Recipes

Lemon Cheese Braid Bread Recipe Taste of Home Recipes

Dijon-Crusted Chicken Breasts Recipe | Taste of Home Recipes

Dijon-Crusted Chicken Breasts Recipe Taste of Home Recipes

Colorful Chicken Croissants Recipe | Taste of Home Recipes

Colorful Chicken Croissants Recipe Taste of Home Recipes

Jumbo Zucchini Chip Muffins Recipe | Taste of Home Recipes

Jumbo Zucchini Chip Muffins Recipe Taste of Home Recipes

SAHM




I had no idea what SAHM stood for before we moved to Virginia. Turns out it is stay at home mom. So since that is now what I am, I found a group called the Prince William SAHM's and Peyton and I meet up with some of the other mom's and kids to play and find new things to do in the area.


The member's of the group can also host playdates at their homes and since I have been having a heck of a time getting Peyton to go do anything, I decided to bring the friends to him. We had a playdate last week, Spring Fling - Paint, Plant, and Play with Peyton in which 5 other mom's and their kids came over and we painted small terra cotta pots, planted seeds and played (not necessarily in that order). It was a big hit so I went ahead and planned a few more for May. We have another one scheduled for this Thursday with shaving cream, sand and spaghetti painting. It is supposed to be a nice day so we will be able to be nice and messy - outside!


We've meet up with the group at an indoor bounce house, a local park on St. Patrick's Day for a Leprechaun Treasure Hunt and there is an Easter Egg Hunt coming up. The women I have met are great and it is nice to have adult conversation and I love having people come over. Hopefully the other playdates will be fun, too; Cinco de Mayo shakers and a pinata, Dinosaur Dig, and Painting with Ice cubes.

Cherry Blossoms, Nana and Papa






Nana and Papa visited us this past weekend from New Hampshire and while we had a wonderful visit, unfortunately, there aren't too many pictures to document the visit. We headed in to DC on Friday April 1, but Peyton was just having a rough day and we didn't stay for too long and it was terribly cold. Papa, Nana, Matt and Maddy went back in to DC on Sunday so they could spend some more time looking around without an impatient little one.


On the Saturday of their visit, we were able to celebrate Papa's birthday with a homemade chocolate cake and dinner at Red Robin, Yum! We had a wonderful visit and we certainly could not do this if we were in Arizona. These memories are wonderful!


Here are a few pictures I was able to take while we were in DC. We hope to head back in on Sunday for the Kite Festival!

Friday, March 25, 2011

My Latest Project






I have been cooking so much at home and have tried numerous recipes. The Taste of Home magazines I have been using are getting a little greasy so I decided to take out the ones we liked best and put them into one binder. I also put in the various articles, clippings, and recipes I had been keeping from various Parenting magazines that I just might need some day.

When I get the magazines in the mail, it is like Christmas. Matt and I both look through them and mark all of the things we want to try. I use my weekly menu plan and fill it out using the great recipe ideas and create my shopping list. Then, I cut out the recipe and put it in our "Leonard Family Favorites".

Now if I can just get caught up on scrapbooks . . . .

A Must Read Article - 14 Ways to Save Money on Groceries on Shine

14 Ways to Save Money on Groceries on Shine

It's become a game for me to see how much money I can save on groceries. I always felt I did a good job, but now that I am really trying I realize I wasn't. By planning dinners two weeks out, cutting coupons, buying roughly 75% of our groceries at WalMart with 40% of them store brand and produce and meats at a local market, I have gone from well over $1200 per month to $900 per month. The sad thing is the $1200 per month didn't include the money we spent eating out. Now, we hardly ever eat out - maybe twice a month when it used to be at least once a week.

It pays to plan ahead . . . and it doesn't take that much time.

A Helpful and Cost Effective Article - 75 Surprising Expiration Dates

75 Surprising Expiration Dates - Yahoo! Shopping#buzzed=http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/505/75-surprising-expiration-dates/

Thursday, March 24, 2011

SPRING




Our first 'real' spring in a long time, and a first for the kids. They are amazed at the flowers growing, the length of the day, the colors of the trees, the birds and animals, the weather, and everything else. It is fun to see it through their eyes.

Our big adventure will be to head in to DC to the Cherry Festival. I am very anxious to see the beauty of the cherry trees with the majesty of DC as the backdrop.

Our own yard has been overrun with daffodils and crocus. We have hundreds of flowers. We are now beginning to see hyacinth and bearded iris, too. Needless to say, allergies are affecting us like never before. Guess you have to take the good with the bad.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Question 3, Why Worry?

3. Why worry?
These two words, considered sincerely, can radically reconfigure the landscape of your mind. Worry rarely leads to positive action; it's just painful, useless fear about hypothetical events, which scuttles happiness rather than ensuring it. Some psychologists say that by focusing on gratitude, we can shut down the part of the brain that worries. It actually works!


I completely agree with this one! One of the major thoughts that got me through my two years as a school administrator was “If my Matt, Maddy, or Peyton are not in immediate danger, then the issue is not important and it can be handled.” Another one was “An emergency on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part.” Everything can be handled, one way or another and with a support system in place any decision that you make will not matter or change their support of you therefore why worry?

In addition, it is all about perspective. When a situation arises in which you feel worry or stress simply take a breath, analyze the situation, look at the big picture, and then react or solve the issue at hand. If you are able to have this outlook and attitude it is easier for those around you to adopt it as well. Your calming nature can be contagious.

Question 3


3. Why worry?

These two words, considered sincerely, can radically reconfigure the landscape of your mind. Worry rarely leads to positive action; it's just painful, useless fear about hypothetical events, which scuttles happiness rather than ensuring it. Some psychologists say that by focusing on gratitude, we can shut down the part of the brain that worries. It actually works!


I completely agree with this one! One of the major thoughts that got me through my two years as a school administrator was “If my Matt, Maddy, or Peyton are not in immediate danger, then the issue is not important and it can be handled.” Another one was “An emergency on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part.” Everything can be handled, one way or another and with a support system in place any decision that you make will not matter or change their support of you therefore why worry?

In addition, it is all about perspective. When a situation arises in which you feel worry or stress simply take a breath, analyze the situation, look at the big picture, and then react or solve the issue at hand. If you are able to have this outlook and attitude it is easier for those around you to adopt it as well. Your calming nature can be contagious.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Isolate and Ignore

It is amazing that no matter how educated you think you are, information can be presented to you in a slightly different way or context and it hits you like a ton of bricks or clicks in a way that it didn't before.

We recently took Peyton in for his 4 year well check. We left with a bunch of information (milestones, vaccines, etc.) and part of that was a little blurb about discipline. We have always felt pretty good about how we discipline our kids. We try to be firm and consistent, model the correct behavior and use positive behavior reinforcements. We aren't perfect, but who is? Anyway, the blurb said ignore and isolate rather than spank and shout. We know all of that, but to phrase it in such a simple way really made it click - again. With a 4 and a 6 year old who basically only have each other here in Virginia, they can get on each others nerves and we can all be short with each other. This phrase has been a great reminder.

Additionally, in my graduate classes I am currently taking a class in counseling and psychoanalysis and we just finished a week on cognitive and behavioral therapy. During the reading, I was again reminded that it is important to ignore bad behavior because by acknowledging it you are reinforcing it and the child will continue the bad behavior as well because you are reacting (even if negatively).

Again, all things that I know and have read about and learned, but a reminder sure does help.

Question 2

I had many personal revalations after answering the first question. Wow. It is pretty powerful to answer these questions, digest the answers, and then share them with a friend or loved one. I will keep going . . .


2. Is this what I want to be doing?
This very moment is, always, the only moment in which you can make changes. Knowing which changes are best for you comes, always, from assessing what you feel. Ask yourself many times every day if you like what you're doing. If the answer is no, start noticing what you'd prefer. Thus begins the revolution.

This is a tough one, or perhaps I am making it tougher than it is and I am only going to focus on a career. In the grand scheme of things, being a stay at home mom is not what I want to be doing. However, there were certain circumstances in our life that brought us to this point and because of those circumstances and other reasons, I am staying home. At the same time, I am working on getting my masters degree in organizational psychology so when the time is right, I no longer have to be a stay at home mom. In a way I have the best of both worlds.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

20 Questions

I found this article on CNN.com and thought it would be perfect therapy (not to mention free) for me right now. I will answer one question at a time (won't say per day). Then when I am all done, I will go back and see what I can change or what I have learned. So here goes nothing . . .

By Martha Beck, Oprah.com --

If you're like most people, you became obsessed with questions around the age of two or three, and scientists now know that continuing to ask them can help keep your mind nimble however old you eventually become. So when someone suggested I put together a list of the 20 most important questions we should all be asking ourselves, I was thrilled. Initially.

Then I became confused about which questions to ask, because of course, as I soon realized, context is everything. In terms of saving your life, the key question is, "Did I remember to fasten my seat belt?" In terms of saving money, "How much do I need to retire before I'm 90?" is a strong contender. If daily usefulness is the point, "What'll I wear?" and "What should I eat first?" might lead the list. And for the philosophically minded, "To be or not to be?" really is the question.

Because I'm far too psychologically fragile to make sense of this subjective morass, I made the bold decision to pass the buck. The 20 questions that follow are based on "crowdsourcing," meaning I asked a whole mess of actual, free-range women what they thought every woman should ask herself. Thanks to all of you who sent in entries via social media.

The questions included here are composites of those that were suggested most often, though I've mushed them together and rephrased some for brevity. Asking them today could redirect your life.
Answering them every day will transform it.

1. What questions should I be asking myself?
At first I thought asking yourself what you should be asking yourself was redundant. It isn't. Without this question, you wouldn't ask any others, so it gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it frequently.

So on February 2, 2011, the questions that I am asking myself right now are;
1. What can I be doing to be a better wife and mother? It’s not a copout question, honest. I just have more time to think about it although the psychologist in me knows I should concentrate on the things that I do right.

2. How can I get a better hold on the little bit of an emotional roller coaster I go through? Most of it is physiological, but it just might be time to go see the doctor again because it is just not good.

3. Why am I so afraid of being happy and content? Honestly, I don’t know. This is probably the toughest question right now. I don’t know if I am afraid of what will happen if I let my guard down? What can I substitute for the angst? Why wouldn’t I want to?

Friday, January 7, 2011

Food

I obviously love food - love to eat it, go out to dinner, snack, etc. I've always had my regular menu of meals to make and would occasionally try new things or change it up. But now that I am staying at home, I have a lot more time to cook and it is great!

Nana and Papa came out to visit back in October and I wanted to try some new recipes out for them. My mom had been getting me a subscription to Taste of Home for years and I would look through them, but then either toss them or set them aside. This is where I got my ideas from for Nana and Papa's visit and it is what I have been cooking from ever since.

It's become a ritual: sit down with the magazines (usually the most recent one), my weekly meal planner, coupons and grocery list pad. Within in just a few minutes, the weeks dinner menu is planned. The meals have been so good. There have only been a few things that we did not like at all and a few that were good, but won't make again. Then there are many that we have already made more than once.

It hasn't just been dinners either. There have been some amazing deserts and snacks. All of the recipes are available online and I highly recommend them. They are relatively quick, easy, and inexpensive.