This is an article that I wish I had read before moving to Arizona or to Maryland and an article I wish I had to share with family, friends, and others we encountered who seemed to question how Maddy and Peyton were behaving or at least how I was being overly sensitive during the entire time period. I know there is a lot that we felt Maddy and Peyton would not "get" or "understand" about moving so we didn't address it at all or in the right context. I know there are times when we underestimated just how much their little brains and hearts were processing about the whole thing. It really hit home when after we told Maddy we were moving to Maryland she asked "Where will we move to after that?". Of course at the time, we didn't think there would be a move anywhere for a while. Little did we know it would be sooner than we thought . . . (see www.azleonards.blogspot.com).
Effect of Moving on Young Children
How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six
Read more at Suite101: Effect of Moving on Young Children: How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six Suite101.com http://www.suite101.com/content/effect-of-moving-on-young-children-a179760#ixzz1VcbLIi1u
Lisl Fair (December 14, 2009)
Moving can have an adverse effect on children, but not all children experience moving as a negative event. Parents can help children cope by using certain strategies.
One out of every five families moves at least once a year. Most moves take place within the same city, but in recent years the number of moves between cities, states and countries have increased.
In an interview with Suite101, Anna-Barbara du Plessis, an educational psychologist in Centurion, South Africa, says that because children often find their security in familiar surroundings moving, can be an especially difficult time for them.
Temporary Behavioral Problems are Common During Moving
Parents are also usually more stressed during a move, and children may reflect these negative emotions in their behavior. Du Plessis says that it is quite common for children to have some behavioral problems (like temper tantrums or excessive clinginess) or regress to a previous developmental stage (for example a child who has been potty trained getting frequent accidents). Children need time to adjust to the new environment before these problems will normalize again.
A Move is Not Always Negative for Children
Moving to a new environment does not always have negative effects on a child’s development, however. Some children experience it as a wonderful adventure that the family undergoes together. Moving can also provide new opportunities for stimulation, learning to adjust and socialization.
Children Show Unique Reactions to Moving
Du Plessis says that reactions from children will vary depending on their personality and developmental stage. A child’s personality type influences the time a child may take to adjust to the move. Children who are naturally outgoing will be able to make friends soon while some other children may take months. Children who move may also have roller coaster emotions – one day she may be excited, and sad and quiet the next day.
Coping Strategies for Young Children During Moving
Apart from providing support relative to the child’s age group, try the following:
•Explain what is happening. Don’t take for granted that the child understands what moving means.
•Be understanding. Acknowledge both positive and negative feelings and help the child to express it.
•Provide continuity. Try to keep routines and other daily living habits as normal as possible.
•Be a good model. It will help children to see the adults in their lives express feelings and work through problems. Saying something like: “I miss my friends today, let’s go to the library and see if we can meet new friends,” may help a child understand her own feelings.
•Use children's books and movies. Story characters who model successful coping strategies can help a child to cope better in her own situation.
Most families move at least once during their life time. Moving can have an adverse effect on young children. Behavioral problems and emotional outburst are not uncommon reactions in young children when families move. Parents can make it easier for children, by communicating about what is happening and providing an anchor-relationship in an uncertain time.
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