Top 10 Myths About ADHD - Parenting on Shine
Another good article with some great points on ADHD. Never hurts to have reminders about ADHD and that it is real.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
A New York Reunion
Over the July 4th Holiday, we were able to have a reunion of sorts at my parents house in Westfield, NY with my brother Scott and his family from Arizona. It had been over a year since we had seen them. We actually had spent our last night in Arizona at their house before we moved to Virginia. While we were together, the grandkids had a lemonade stand, played, swam, picniced, and just spent great time together.
My dad was happy because I unloaded a good 4 large boxes from their attic of my Barbie toys that I had when I was a kid. They are now Maddy's. I have to admit, I did cry when she started playing with them. Just thinking about how much fun I had with them and now she would get to play with them, too.
New Discoveries and New Beginnings
I have come to realize in the last two weeks that when we left Arizona and I left my career that what I went through was truly a loss and what I have experienced in the last 14 months has been a process similar to the grieving process or at least that is what it should have been. So now that I have come to that realization, I need to reflect on the last 14 months and the emotions that I have experienced in order to reconcile, cope, and move on.
I began graduate studies in psychology last October and this has also helped me make these connections and provided me with a wealth of knowledge and resources to pull from in order to go through this "process". I am anxious to get started and a little scared to make these self discoveries, but I am also excited and hope to come up with some interesting and useful processes that will be helpful to other moms who may go through a similar experience or for others that I may encounter in my work as an Organizational Consultant.
My goal is to use this blog as a forum to answer and reflect on some of the information and ressearch that I have discovered so that I can truly move on from the loss that I experienced. I am intrigued by the work of Daniel Goleman and his Emotional Intelligence so that is one of the first places I will begin along with a website I discovered called Emotional Competency. I have never been one for spiritual journeys, touchy-feely emotional work, but I believe that I have come to a point in my life where there needs to be just a little bit of give and take in this area in order to bring my personal growth and self-awareness to a new level.
I began graduate studies in psychology last October and this has also helped me make these connections and provided me with a wealth of knowledge and resources to pull from in order to go through this "process". I am anxious to get started and a little scared to make these self discoveries, but I am also excited and hope to come up with some interesting and useful processes that will be helpful to other moms who may go through a similar experience or for others that I may encounter in my work as an Organizational Consultant.
My goal is to use this blog as a forum to answer and reflect on some of the information and ressearch that I have discovered so that I can truly move on from the loss that I experienced. I am intrigued by the work of Daniel Goleman and his Emotional Intelligence so that is one of the first places I will begin along with a website I discovered called Emotional Competency. I have never been one for spiritual journeys, touchy-feely emotional work, but I believe that I have come to a point in my life where there needs to be just a little bit of give and take in this area in order to bring my personal growth and self-awareness to a new level.
The Effects of Moving on Kids
This is an article that I wish I had read before moving to Arizona or to Maryland and an article I wish I had to share with family, friends, and others we encountered who seemed to question how Maddy and Peyton were behaving or at least how I was being overly sensitive during the entire time period. I know there is a lot that we felt Maddy and Peyton would not "get" or "understand" about moving so we didn't address it at all or in the right context. I know there are times when we underestimated just how much their little brains and hearts were processing about the whole thing. It really hit home when after we told Maddy we were moving to Maryland she asked "Where will we move to after that?". Of course at the time, we didn't think there would be a move anywhere for a while. Little did we know it would be sooner than we thought . . . (see www.azleonards.blogspot.com).
Effect of Moving on Young Children
How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six
Read more at Suite101: Effect of Moving on Young Children: How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six Suite101.com http://www.suite101.com/content/effect-of-moving-on-young-children-a179760#ixzz1VcbLIi1u
Lisl Fair (December 14, 2009)
Moving can have an adverse effect on children, but not all children experience moving as a negative event. Parents can help children cope by using certain strategies.
One out of every five families moves at least once a year. Most moves take place within the same city, but in recent years the number of moves between cities, states and countries have increased.
In an interview with Suite101, Anna-Barbara du Plessis, an educational psychologist in Centurion, South Africa, says that because children often find their security in familiar surroundings moving, can be an especially difficult time for them.
Temporary Behavioral Problems are Common During Moving
Parents are also usually more stressed during a move, and children may reflect these negative emotions in their behavior. Du Plessis says that it is quite common for children to have some behavioral problems (like temper tantrums or excessive clinginess) or regress to a previous developmental stage (for example a child who has been potty trained getting frequent accidents). Children need time to adjust to the new environment before these problems will normalize again.
A Move is Not Always Negative for Children
Moving to a new environment does not always have negative effects on a child’s development, however. Some children experience it as a wonderful adventure that the family undergoes together. Moving can also provide new opportunities for stimulation, learning to adjust and socialization.
Children Show Unique Reactions to Moving
Du Plessis says that reactions from children will vary depending on their personality and developmental stage. A child’s personality type influences the time a child may take to adjust to the move. Children who are naturally outgoing will be able to make friends soon while some other children may take months. Children who move may also have roller coaster emotions – one day she may be excited, and sad and quiet the next day.
Coping Strategies for Young Children During Moving
Apart from providing support relative to the child’s age group, try the following:
•Explain what is happening. Don’t take for granted that the child understands what moving means.
•Be understanding. Acknowledge both positive and negative feelings and help the child to express it.
•Provide continuity. Try to keep routines and other daily living habits as normal as possible.
•Be a good model. It will help children to see the adults in their lives express feelings and work through problems. Saying something like: “I miss my friends today, let’s go to the library and see if we can meet new friends,” may help a child understand her own feelings.
•Use children's books and movies. Story characters who model successful coping strategies can help a child to cope better in her own situation.
Most families move at least once during their life time. Moving can have an adverse effect on young children. Behavioral problems and emotional outburst are not uncommon reactions in young children when families move. Parents can make it easier for children, by communicating about what is happening and providing an anchor-relationship in an uncertain time.
Effect of Moving on Young Children
How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six
Read more at Suite101: Effect of Moving on Young Children: How a Move Can Affect Children Under Six Suite101.com http://www.suite101.com/content/effect-of-moving-on-young-children-a179760#ixzz1VcbLIi1u
Lisl Fair (December 14, 2009)
Moving can have an adverse effect on children, but not all children experience moving as a negative event. Parents can help children cope by using certain strategies.
One out of every five families moves at least once a year. Most moves take place within the same city, but in recent years the number of moves between cities, states and countries have increased.
In an interview with Suite101, Anna-Barbara du Plessis, an educational psychologist in Centurion, South Africa, says that because children often find their security in familiar surroundings moving, can be an especially difficult time for them.
Temporary Behavioral Problems are Common During Moving
Parents are also usually more stressed during a move, and children may reflect these negative emotions in their behavior. Du Plessis says that it is quite common for children to have some behavioral problems (like temper tantrums or excessive clinginess) or regress to a previous developmental stage (for example a child who has been potty trained getting frequent accidents). Children need time to adjust to the new environment before these problems will normalize again.
A Move is Not Always Negative for Children
Moving to a new environment does not always have negative effects on a child’s development, however. Some children experience it as a wonderful adventure that the family undergoes together. Moving can also provide new opportunities for stimulation, learning to adjust and socialization.
Children Show Unique Reactions to Moving
Du Plessis says that reactions from children will vary depending on their personality and developmental stage. A child’s personality type influences the time a child may take to adjust to the move. Children who are naturally outgoing will be able to make friends soon while some other children may take months. Children who move may also have roller coaster emotions – one day she may be excited, and sad and quiet the next day.
Coping Strategies for Young Children During Moving
Apart from providing support relative to the child’s age group, try the following:
•Explain what is happening. Don’t take for granted that the child understands what moving means.
•Be understanding. Acknowledge both positive and negative feelings and help the child to express it.
•Provide continuity. Try to keep routines and other daily living habits as normal as possible.
•Be a good model. It will help children to see the adults in their lives express feelings and work through problems. Saying something like: “I miss my friends today, let’s go to the library and see if we can meet new friends,” may help a child understand her own feelings.
•Use children's books and movies. Story characters who model successful coping strategies can help a child to cope better in her own situation.
Most families move at least once during their life time. Moving can have an adverse effect on young children. Behavioral problems and emotional outburst are not uncommon reactions in young children when families move. Parents can make it easier for children, by communicating about what is happening and providing an anchor-relationship in an uncertain time.
Glad I Didn't Change a Thing
I suppose there has been a reason I have been on hiatus these last few months in writing anything on either of my blogs. Here is the short version (if there is such a thing):
Matt left his job in Virginia (the one we came out here in the first place for) and got a position with a company in Maryland. We found a townhome in Joppa, MD and moved there after July 4th. We absolutely LOVE Maryland and the people and all that there is to do. It is a different vibe than Virginia. We also moved into a townhome community and were immediately welcomed with open arms and the kids had about 10 instant friends.
In the meantime, Matt had been interviewing with a company that is one of the toughest in the country to interview for. Over the course of two months he had two phone interviews and two on site interviews, 1 in California and 1 in Virginia. Of course he was offered a position and it is in Virginia. He began last week but we are living in Maryland - big problem. Right now he is commuting/telecommuting/living in company housing until we can get out of our lease and find a place in Virgina and move back. I guess one of the good things in all of this is that the moves have been paid for, but it still does not alleviate the stress of actually looking for a new place and moving.
So, we did not go from the Arizona Leonard's to the Virginia Leonard's to the Maryland Leonard's. Looks like we will stay the Virginia Leonard's (just a different part of Virginia).
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