20 Questions

I found this article on CNN.com and thought it would be perfect therapy (not to mention free) for me right now. I will answer one question at a time (won't say per day). Then when I am all done, I will go back and see what I can change or what I have learned. So here goes nothing . . .

By Martha Beck, Oprah.com --

If you're like most people, you became obsessed with questions around the age of two or three, and scientists now know that continuing to ask them can help keep your mind nimble however old you eventually become. So when someone suggested I put together a list of the 20 most important questions we should all be asking ourselves, I was thrilled. Initially.

Then I became confused about which questions to ask, because of course, as I soon realized, context is everything. In terms of saving your life, the key question is, "Did I remember to fasten my seat belt?" In terms of saving money, "How much do I need to retire before I'm 90?" is a strong contender. If daily usefulness is the point, "What'll I wear?" and "What should I eat first?" might lead the list. And for the philosophically minded, "To be or not to be?" really is the question.

Because I'm far too psychologically fragile to make sense of this subjective morass, I made the bold decision to pass the buck. The 20 questions that follow are based on "crowdsourcing," meaning I asked a whole mess of actual, free-range women what they thought every woman should ask herself. Thanks to all of you who sent in entries via social media.

The questions included here are composites of those that were suggested most often, though I've mushed them together and rephrased some for brevity. Asking them today could redirect your life.
Answering them every day will transform it.

1. What questions should I be asking myself?
At first I thought asking yourself what you should be asking yourself was redundant. It isn't. Without this question, you wouldn't ask any others, so it gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it frequently.

So on February 2, 2011, the questions that I am asking myself right now are;
1. What can I be doing to be a better wife and mother? It’s not a copout question, honest. I just have more time to think about it although the psychologist in me knows I should concentrate on the things that I do right.

2. How can I get a better hold on the little bit of an emotional roller coaster I go through? Most of it is physiological, but it just might be time to go see the doctor again because it is just not good.

3. Why am I so afraid of being happy and content? Honestly, I don’t know. This is probably the toughest question right now. I don’t know if I am afraid of what will happen if I let my guard down? What can I substitute for the angst? Why wouldn’t I want to?