It seems as if I have had this conversation many times in my life. It's that time again. Now that we are settled in to life in Virginia, I am trying to figure out what I want to do. This blog entry will be very theraputic for me, so read on at your own risk.
It was never a question as I grew up if I would work or be a stay at home mom. I persued a masters degree to make sure that I had made numerous contacts and had major career opportunities. But life can change things around and I rolled with the punches.
When it came time for us to have children, I wanted to keep working because I wanted to be a strong role model for my daughter that she could do anything she wanted and for my son so he could see equality in all aspects of life. Things were going just great when circumstances changed and we found ourselves moving to Virginia.
I left behind a job that I loved. I poured my heart into being the Site Administrator at Legacy. I helped bring the school from Failing to Performing Plus in a 2 year span. But a new opportunity was before us and so it was time to move on.
We have been here in Virginia for 2 1/2 months. The summer was long - being home with both kids and with no support system in place. I never questioned why we moved, but I wondered if I was being the best mom and giving my kids the best experiences.
Maddy is in school now and now I turn my attention to Peyton - trying to spend quality time with him similar to what Maddy and I did when she was his age. I am able to spend time making sure our home is comfortable and a place where new memories can be made, I am trying new recipes, gardening a bit, and have at least unpacked the box of scrapbooks (no scrapbooking yet though) and have piles of books strategically placed in the house in anticipation that I will actually read them.
Now thoughts turn to what am I contributing to society besides the obvious, raising 2 wonderful kids. What if I take a break and stay home? What will I do when the kids are independent and on their own? What "work" can I go back to? Will I be out of practice in education? Theatre? Non-profit? Or any other career experience I had? Who would hire me?
I think that I have come up with a plan right now - I have applied to a job within the Prince William County School District. If I get that job, then great. I would love to do it. It is perfect for me in so many ways. But if not, we have a small business that we would like to start. I will get that going (business plan, marketing, etc.) and begin taking classes towards my masters in organizational and industrial psychology (which will directly help the business we want to start).
It's just a shame that money is always sitting on your shoulder being a little devil.
Only time will tell... In the meantime, I search for balance. That is my mantra right now; BALANCE.
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